Adios 2014, Hello 2015!

Adios 2014! The past year has been filled with so many achievements and tribulations with internship starting end of last year and ending beginning of the year while juggling FYP. Despite all the hard times, I'm also thankful for the great moments, where I've graduated from NP with a Diploma in Biomedical Science with the awesome bunch of mates from the LSCT Class of 2014 and I'm so happy for those who also had the chance to further their studies be it locally or overseas! ;) I've also had the blessing of becoming a tutor to one of the cutest kids who taught me so much. Having had the break after graduation, I'm also thankful for the chance to be able to spend time with family, be it distant or immediate. Also, I got to attend my first KPOP concert with my little 막내😘 To end off the year, even though I wasn't able to further my studies this year, I was even lucky enough to get a job with SGH and have gotten to know a great, understanding bunch of seniors who are ever patient in teaching me the ropes. Even though it's been stressful, it's an unexpected chance given to me and I want to embrace it and work hard at it. Looking ahead to 2015, it's gonna be filled with even more milestones and more challenges but pressing on will be the only way to go. Here's wishing everyone all the best for the upcoming year, being able to achieve everything you set your mind to. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!🎉🎉🎉 welcome 2015!!!!

Undecided

Another day at work today and I had a conversation with a colleague of mine. Turns out she's leaving next year just when my probation ends. That was shocking to some extent but what was more appalling I guess, was the fact that she's the 3rd one that I've found out who's leaving. She told me about how office politics were very scary and that someone who may seem nice on the outside, may not be so in real life. It then dawned on me that what she said was true, as much as I would like to believe that everyone is kind from birth and that no one wants to be mean. It also got me to thinking about what I want and need in this stage of my life. I'm about to turn 21 in about 5 months or so and one of my life's dreams is to go travelling to explore the world and get a degree while I'm at it if possible. But I can't do that without money.

Ultimately, it all still boils down to money, doesn't it? As much as we all want to say that we are not slaves for money, who in this world isn't? Except for those born with a silver spoon, the rest of the worldly population is still struggling to make ends meet, to meet the increase in quality of life. That would mean that I would have to work to achieve this dream of  mine.

This job may not be my dream job and I do like it and find it interesting, but I don't feel passionate about it. In addition, that sense of belonging is still not there, as much as the benefits are good and all. I keep telling myself that this is just a temporary phase, that I'll soon not feel this way, but it's been more than a month, approaching the 2nd month milestone. And that feeling is still there. What if I'm just cheating myself? And that this isn't the right path for me? I don't know what the future holds but I want to feel happy and carefree in whatever I do. Right now all I feel every single day is lethargy and restlessness, even though it is interesting and I'm constantly learning new stuff every day.

I don't want to come across as someone who gives up easily though. Also, what would I do if I were to really resign after probation? There is no study intake coming up and I would have to look for another job which may not pay me as much as right now.

I really need a deep talk with someone experienced to enlighten me and to help me out of this slump.  :/ and I'm hating how every time I push these thoughts to the very back of my mind but they always manage to creep back and torment me.

Passion

For those of you who don't know her, she's TaeYeon from Girls' Generation and is also the leader of the group. She has become my inspiration lately, especially after watching The TaeTiSeo recently as well. Something I really love about her is her love and passion for singing. Watch the above video to understand what I'm talking about.

When TY sings, there's a glow that radiates from within and a smile that naturally spreads across her lips. Something that cannot be faked out because of her genuine love and passion for her job as a performer and a member of GG. Be it solo ballads or group numbers with GG or TTS, whenever she belts out those high notes, goosebumps come out and not in a bad way too. She also has that slight smirk after she finishes those "out-of-this-world" notes that shows that she's proud of what she's capable of.

I love to watch people like that sing and I can never get tired of it. There are so many people whom I can name who sing like that too, such as Idina Menzel, Sara Bareilles, Tiffany and Jessica from GG as well (I still consider Jessica as part of GG no matter what happens). I don't mean that they are the best singers in the world, because there may be hidden singers or just people I don't know who can maybe sing better than them, but I'm just saying that to me, they are some of the best performers in the world, who actually love their job as much as their lives.

This leads me to talk about what I want for myself. For those of you who have been following my past few posts, you would know that I'm newly employed. I won't say where, but it's a hospital. It's been a month into my probation and I can say that I've started to blend in and adapt a little I guess, from the whole screwed up body clock from pre-employment till now as well as the new work environment. I'm still trying to get used to the occasional information overload from my different co-workers but I feel like I can slowly blend in and start talking to them already so that's a start right?

Anyway, my supervisor at work has been asking me this question a lot lately, "Do you think you can do this?" or for those who can understand chinese, "你觉得你可以吗?" This statement has been constantly at the back of my mind, bugging me throughout the day when I'm working or when I'm resting. 

Ideally, I would want a job that I enjoy not only because of the company, but also because I genuinely love and am passionate about. I want a job that I can't wait to get to in the morning and dread leaving at the end of the day. Something that I'm good at, but can still learn so much more in; something that I'm able to exude confidence in doing (Just like all of my very experienced colleagues are doing now); something I will complain about but still carry out willingly and from within. Lastly, I want a job that is able to help/ impact others and a job that doesn't seem like work. It sounds so difficult to fulfill and I'm actually quite envious of the people I've mentioned above because they've found their love and calling in life which allows them to earn some money along the way as well. I mean, who wouldn't love to get paid for doing something that you like?

Now that a month has passed, I started thinking about whether this is what I want to do for the next few years. Talking to my colleague on the way home that day, she mentioned that it'll be her 10th year of service in a few months. Here I am, just finishing probation when that happens and will be transferred to another department since my training has ended. Being forced to adapt to a whole new environment once again. Having unsettling dreams that accompany all these thoughts don't seem to help as well.

I don't know whether I'm just stressed out or what. I don't feel the physical stress of my job but I guess there may be mental stress that's getting to me without me actually knowing, and they're taking a toll on me via my dreams. I've never been one to be that affected by dreams since I used to believe that dreams are the opposite of reality. But what if the dreams feel so real, making me wake up in cold sweat or feeling a chill run down my spine. I think I'm starting to get a little depressed somehow LOL. I want to be alone most of the time even though I crave company of my friends and loved ones.

All these contradictions are driving me slightly crazy and the fact that my back and knees are giving me more problems than ever now, make fear start to consume me, when all I want is passion and love to consume me.

A close friend told me that everything will work out on its own in the end, and right now, I'm trying my bestest to believe that. [Thanks for the advice btw. You should know this if you're reading. ;)]

Why I hate uncertainty

“What’s worse than wanting something you can’t have? It’s not knowing what you want. Wishing on all the stars in the sky for the answers to your questions, for something to believe in; someone to hold. Having absolutely no control over yourself, being caught up in a place you wish you were miles away from. Being stuck somewhere between the past and the future, nowhere near where you should be - in the present. Stuck in yesterdays and tomorrows, so far from home, far from everything you know and love. The uncertainty could just about tear you to bits.”

Daily Tumblr Love Quotes (via thelovewhisperer)

The Education System of Today

“you had such a thirst for knowledge; and now school has ruined that.”

Learning

Didn't have time to update the past week, besides little photos here and there that expressed what I thought/felt at that time. It's been a whirlwind of a past week with me getting gastroenteritis and sort of finally getting the hang of things at work. It's been overwhelming with fatigue overcoming me in the mornings and tears welling up every now and then due to the information overload. But the colleagues have been more than helpful and friendly, which makes things easier in a way, at the very least emotionally.

Of course, just as I was getting comfortable with the workload, a new task of learning NCS and EP was dropped upon me and I had to forgo my final part of training with EEG already. Not that I was really good at it yet but 3 months to learn everything from scratch is a really daunting task right now, with the 3rd week already underway. So who was I to complain?

I've been trying to take down my barriers as well and start conversations with my colleagues, even though it may be over the most ridiculous topics. I know I'm not the most extroverted person, which makes this as outgoing as I can get for now, but I'm at least trying and that counts for something right? :)

On top of that, today I faced the most challenging patient I've had so far, albeit not alone, but the feeling of stress when he started acting up was something I was not expecting. I'm not allowed to disclose any information so I can't go into much detail but let's just put it this way, it required more than the expected amount of people to restrain and sedate him.

I realised during the period that he was with us that I've been taking a lot of things for granted. With him being so resistant towards the staff, we required the mum to help talk to and control him and I saw how strong this mum was, above and amongst everything else. Putting myself in her shoes, I would have broken down and cried, seeing my own flesh and blood being tied down and sedated over something that cannot be controlled. Tears had been creeping up on me during that period this afternoon but I suppressed them down. Had I been her, I probably would have been really frustrated throughout the entire test period but the amount of endurance and patience she showed me really amazed me, along with the patient's family of course.

I guess they would have been used to such episodes in their lives but having to deal with this on a daily basis takes a lot of effort and perseverance which I greatly admire. I would like to think I felt a slight sense of accomplishment, as I helped out to carry out the test, something opposite of what I felt just early this morning. I had quite negative thoughts after speaking to a colleague with regards to a future in this occupation. For those of you who have read my previous word posts, would know that I'm still quite uncertain about the path ahead, not knowing if this is what I really want. But after the episode, I want to remember that accomplished feeling and hopefully that would help empower me, knowing I have the ability to help patients, even though they aren't my original target audience when I first started planning out my career a few years back.

P.S. Gonna update again probably next week since there is an operation early tomorrow morning and my eyes can't stay open right now as well. *sleepyhead here*

Milestone

Milestone in my 20 year old life 😁✌️ #milestone #7500 #3/4to10k credit background to @jadexxgd 

Awaiting Serendipity

Consent

I've been consenting too much recently till I happened to get this a few days back. Such an apt reminder to myself.

Starting Afresh

"Not every day is good but there is something good in every day." -Winnie the Pooh

First week of my new life has just gone by. I'm still not used to this kind of scheduled lifestyle, but I guess I will eventually, as all my friends say. I saw this quote while watching SNSD's SooYoung's drama (Spring Days of My Life) yesterday and thought it kinda related to my life this week so why not pen down some thoughts about it. BTW, I'm not too sure about the source but she said so in the drama so let's just go with the flow for now. :)

Having a more introverted personality (my close friends think otherwise though), I find it difficult to blend in with new surroundings. New environments always manage to instill some sort of fear in me. I'm one who is easily afraid of the unknown, I'm not the adventurous type when it comes to such things. I mean, who likes the unknown? There are adventurous people, there are people who like to discover things, but to me, those don't mean that you're not fearful of what they don't know, just that they choose to overcome that fear, and have found a way to do so quickly, unlike me for now.

Anyways, I totally realised how much I've slacked off for the past 5 months after graduating from poly, as shown by my unruly body clock and how slow I am at taking in new information now. I used to be able to pick up new skills and such very quickly, but now, I'm still not used to the terminology used and all. Maybe just cause I'm not placed in the real world, dealing with real patients and everything, so the stress gets to me a little (or maybe a lot). I feel like there is a need for me to know everything faster within the 3 month period given, which is not a very long time. But none of this has much correlation with what I've been taught back in BMS, which brings me to think about what this decision of taking on this job will bring for me.

I've honestly thought about it and I can't really see myself doing this job in the long run, say 5 years down the road? I want to continue studying, that's for sure. But then again, what would I study? I have interest in Psychology, but this job, in any case that I do well and the higher ups decide to sponsor my degree education for some reason, I would have to do a related degree which is not exactly what I want right now. This dilemma has been sort of bugging me for a while, especially after having a little welcome chat with the head of my department a couple of days back. He mentioned something along the lines of "This contract we have with you is both ways, should you pass the probation but feel like this is not something you would like to pursue, then you can leave as well."

I don't really know what I want now, and as you can tell from above, I really really really detest uncertainty. I want to be able to do a job that I can feel a passion for and maybe I don't feel it yet, since only a week has passed anyway, but I really want to do something that I love. If this is the path for me, whoever dictated my life story above, I hope that somewhere along my path soon, I would start to fall in love with my job. I would on my part put in much more effort to understand and learn as much from this as possible as well, so please help me, whoever you are.

On a side note, the colleagues have been really nice and friendly (with some exceptions but then again, I learnt not to judge a book by its cover, so they are generally a welcoming bunch) :D who I'm greatly grateful for.They can tell I'm stressed out but they help me along as and when so to me right now, they are my saviours and life buoys as I'm thrown out to this new ocean of a job, like a never ending abyss with so much to learn and take in. The patients have also taught me a lot, and I realised I do like interacting with them, which is a good thing right? Hahahahaha :D

All I want right now is to be able to get used to all the new stuff and yes, despite all the negativity from the above paragraphs, I'm still excited for what is to come, and as I've always said, I will learn to embrace and overcome all obstacles in my way, so 화이팅!

Time

"Time and tide waits for no man" #longines #armcandy #watch #timepiece ⌚️

The Stars

"A soul entering heaven" - Alphonse Daudet, The Stars🌠✨💫🌟⭐️ #dailylightreading #alphonsedaudet #thestars

Preparation

My new obsession😍😍😍 #newbalance #maroon @newbalancesg #kicks #shoes

October

Cos it's Breast Cancer Awareness month so pink is a must. Leopard print to give a strong image for everyone fighting Breast Cancer out there💪💅 #nails #nailart #nailpolish #essie #opi #thefaceshop #leopardprint #black #pink 

Blame & Responsibility

“If you suffer it is because of you, if you feel blissful it is because of you. Nobody else is responsible - only you and you alone. You are your hell and your heaven too.”
— OSHO

Came across the above quote while tumblr-ing and just had a surge of thoughts that I wanted to pen down (Not literally but digitally). This is something I wanted to share to since I presume this is a stage we all want to reach in life, to be able to take responsibility for all our actions, whether or not good or bad.

When problems or conflict arises, we all tend to find someone or something to blame, a spark that instigated the entire incident to begin with. However, we rarely stop to think if we were the ones at fault first. I often have this thought in my head that yes I know I was partly at fault, but... I end up finding some fault instead of myself. Even after countless leadership workshops and self-improvement programs I've been through and know the importance of internalizing, this never fails to happen. And I'm sure it doesn't only apply to me, but to many out there.

I've wanted to reach this stage for the longest time in my life. Why? Because to me it signifies reaching the highest level of self-responsibility one could ever reach: to be able to take responsibility of one's own decisions and actions. Knowing when you are in the wrong and to be able to lower one's pride and to apologize and fully accept that it's my mistake and be willing to change. Change here not referring to changing of oneself but implying the change of the way we deal with this problem to avoid future repetitions of the incident, while staying true to oneself throughout.

Of course, saying this is simple and I know in real life, nothing is that easy and life isn't a bed of roses, but think of it this way. Spend some time to think about humanity on its own and whether or not you believe that we Homo sapiens are good or bad from birth. I believe in the former and that people make the best decisions based on their point of view of the situation at that point in time even though the choice made may not be the best. Since this is so, I would ideally be able to put myself in their shoes to understand the situation from their perspective and know why he/she made that choice. From that understanding hopefully a compromise can be reached between both parties and thus settle the issue at hand.

Granted this is an ideal situation where everyone thinks that way and is able to take responsibility for their own thoughts and actions but sadly it isn't so. Being our own heaven and hell is a choice we are able to make. We can choose to have kind thoughts and actions and vice versa we can choose to make detrimental choices to our lives. It's all up to us.

The next time you come across a conflict or something similar, will you make the same mistake of blaming or take it upon yourself and make a change? :)

P.S. it sounds like I've just made a speech when I proofread it in my brain  XD

Grow

Fresh Start

Approaching a new phase of my life starting from 27th October and I'm sort of having mixed feelings about it. A part of me is excited for the challenges and the new experiences but the other part of me is somewhat cowering in fear for what's in store, not knowing if I can handle all of what is required of me.

I guess this is all part of what I signed up for the moment I signed my name on the document but all this still seems so surreal and hasn't sunk into me as of yet, I guess.

I want to face this head on with a new attitude, to embrace everything that comes my way, good or bad, but maybe deep inside I just want to have that reassurance from people around me who matter. That everything is going to be okay, that I would do well no matter what, that I'm gonna be just fine.

Maybe all I need is my closest sisters and a hug.

Distance

To treasure every second of the present

Looking forward to the sweater weather I love

Deep blood red to match the fall🍁🍃🍂 even though it's sweltering hot here in SG #nails #nailpolish #essie using @essiepolish 's <Lacy Not Racy> 

Contradictions

That feeling of wanting to be alone despite hating loneliness

Power of believing

"Things turn out the way you believe"

This is a line that I saw in a drama that I've started watching recently (That Winter, The Wind Blows - starring heartthrob Jo In Sung ♥♥♥) and it's hit me quite a bit after the happenings of today.

I've finally received a call today to seal a deal that I've been waiting for a long long time, (close friends of mine would know what I'm talking about, you know who you are as well ;)) I was somewhat depressed throughout this entire period of time and the above people would know. Everytime I met up or texted with them it would always somehow be able to revolve around this topic and I'm terribly sorry for that, please know that I am. Sorry for not being a good friend, for somewhat victimizing myself every so often that I'm sure if I were you guys I might have slapped me already. Sorry for being the talker/confider instead of the listening ear that I promised to be. Most of all sorry to my family, whom I've been sometimes blowing off my steam and relieving my stress towards. Now that this has been settled, I'm striving to improve myself and be a new and improved Ruby.

For those of you who have no clue what I've been talking about, yes, I've finally been employed!!! *Throws confetti and screams while running around the room* The dilemma I mentioned earlier was the choice between furthering my studies or to work and earn some money first, with that mentioned, also the job I was gonna take up.

The decision was hard to make as I hadn't have enough money to further my studies overseas since my grades weren't good enough for local universities (which I find unfair because there should be a college entrance exam to qualify the students instead of depending 100% on the students grades from Junior Colleges/ Polytechnics, which btw poly students have lesser spaces to vie for from the beginning), even though I very much wanted to take up a new major in Psychology, something that I've started to take interest and a liking to after an elective I took up. 

I hadn't been accepted to the colleges I applied for and therefore I decided to take a gap year first before furthering my studies after much consideration (not that I had much of a choice) and after reflecting on what my deputy director had mentioned to us before, that a degree only makes you poorer and the time taken to obtain a degree would have allowed me to earn tens of thousands.

Next dilemma that followed obviously was my job choice: to work in a lab as a researcher or to venture into something of my liking like forensics. This obviously didn't go as I had planned either since the Police force also rejected my application which led me to where I am today.

I started today's post with a quote which I mentioned hit me quite hard. I realised that if I had not believed in the fact that everything happens for a reason, that I was rejected from all these institutions and organisations for a reason, I wouldn't be able to accept the job offer as I did today. Tomorrow, will allow me to seal my fate for the next 2 years with a sign of my name. Right now, I would just like to count my blessings that I have a job and will be able to support my own finances, although maybe on a slightly lower budget for the time being.

Having faith that this step tomorrow will bring me closer to my dream of fulfilling my wanderlust and letting me explore the big wide world.

On a side note, I would love to take a short trip before I embark on this journey, to embrace my freedom before I start working hard towards my goal and hopefully one day be able to continue my studies in another part of this beautiful place.

"A memory becomes a song, and a song becomes someone else's memory. And the cycle repeats itself."

My Lovely Girl (SBS, 2014)

Faux fall/Autumn

Navy nails with an edge, a twist of French manicure with some silver. Not forgetting accented nails which I've come to be addicted to☺️💅 Wanted to do some fall themed nails but didn't have the right shade of red so gave up😔 #nails #nailart #navy #silver #accent #frenchmanicure #diy #manicure

ALMOST

Almost♫

Hoping for the best

Received a call yesterday that kinda made me think it was good news at first and my mood was up the entire day. During my long bus ride home (which I totally love BTW since it gives me time to think and catch up on naps- I know I'm lazy), I started thinking through the day again and got to thinking about the phone call, maybe even over-thinking it.

For those that don't know, I applied for a few jobs recently after graduation and decided to put my studies aside for the time being and earn some money for now. I went for an interview followed by an observation session sometime last month and they finally gave me a call yesterday. I was obviously ecstatic about it since surviving on only $180 plus my savings a month is not enough and also it doesn't contribute to my future dream of a sabbatical.

Anyways, the HR called and asked if I was still interested in the job so  replied yes. He told me he needed to verify a few things so I said okay and awaited for the questions to come, which I was going to reply very honestly with no holds barred and all he did was put me on hold and said after that he would try his best to call me back hopefully within the week to get back to me about the offer. Come to think of it he sounded kinda flustered after the hold and now I'm starting to think negatively about it again. Maybe he didn't mean to call me? Maybe he confused me with someone else? All these questions can't stop their trail in my mind which is kinda annoying me a little.

Oh well, I'm hoping for the best and the look on my parents' face yesterday tells me they are too! With my BFF also congratulating me over LINE, here's hoping everything goes smoothly from here on out cause I don't wish to live in the so called prophecy that I read in the beginning of the year of my zodiac that I would spend more than I earn this year.

I refuse to resign myself to such predictions of my life and I wanna make a name out of myself, carving my own path, living my life undictated by others but how I wish to live it. To live life to its fullest. #determined

Drama Thoughts & Withdrawal

It's been a week since this drama has ended (It's Okay, It's Love). To summarise, this is a psychology based romantic comedy that revolves around the lives of leads Jo InSung who is a renowned author and Gong Hyo Jin, who is a psychiatrist in a hospital. This wasn't a typical drama filled with soppy tears and a boring storyline, in fact it was the exact opposite. I personally am not a fan of melodrama and prefer to have a few laughs in between, which this show has definitely been able to bring, to not only me but lots of other people watching it as well, I'm sure. I don't want to spoiler anyone who reads this and is contemplating whether or not to start watching, but just do give this show a try.

"Even if we make choices, we still don't know what will happen in the future."

For one, it really started making me ponder over my life, what I would like to achieve, where do I want to be in 10 years. Is life all about the successes or is it about the people in it, the people who I've come to love and care for over the years? I'm always unsure of my decisions and how it would affect others, especially my family. Something that I really hate is being a disappointment to the people I love. They expect a lot of me and when I don't meet them, I feel like a failure even if they don't voice it out, it shows in their actions and body language. From the show, I learnt that I shouldn't be too mindful of such thoughts and not to entertain them for long periods of time. As the quote above says, even if we make decisions, we don't know what will happen, and it actual fact no one does, so why limit yourselves to living the life others expect you to lead instead of carving out a path for yourself, to live life for yourself to the fullest, doing things you want to do (I don't mean detrimental stuff like smoking and all, but you get what I mean).

It also taught me not to judge others just cos they're different, but to learn and understand things from their perspective, in this case, the psychiatric patients. They live and do things not by choice but because they are unwell and just because they are not as healthy as the rest of us are, doesn't make them any less worthy, in fact, it makes them extra special and should be treated with equality, love and understanding.

"We all fumble around because we're all still just trying to learn the ropes of our roles"

Mistakes are part and parcel of life and it's natural for anyone to make mistakes as no one is perfect. Learning to appreciate imperfection in this world where everyone craves and chases after perfection is skill that I think everyone should pick up. This show also focuses on the trait of learning from your mistakes and not just focusing on the mistake that has been committed. For every action taken or decision made, there must have been a reason for it. From a module I used to take in school, I learnt that "People will always make the best choice given their map of the world (their situation/perspective)". Even if the choice made at that point isn't the best for that situation, it was for the best in their point of view. That's what exactly happens as this show unfolds in the later part, where they unravel why the lead Jang Jae Yeol (played by Jo InSung) acted the way he did when he was young, and how that decision continued to snowball into greater problems that in the end would be solved with the help of girlfriend Ji Hae Soo (played by Gong Hyo Jin).

Of course, the love story between the 2 are sweet but in this case it is realistic and tackles with problems that I believe real life couples do face as well, such as monetary issues when still dating as compared to during marriage. I for one do not believe in the guy paying for everything within a relationship, especially during the dating stage as women of today also have the spending power so why should guys do it for us? :)

Anyways, with a stellar cast and amazing crew behind-the-scenes, this drama is highly recommended by me and as you can see from the title, I'm still reeling in from the fact that it has ended already. :'(

This next show, Master's Sun, is kind of a fantasy drama that is entertaining, even though it isn't all that real. Haha :D In summary, the lead actress Tae Gong Shil (also played by Gong Hyo Jin, who is an amazing actress by the way) is able to see spirits of the dead (Ghosts) and they go to her to seek favours that they could not accomplish when they were alive. Joo Joong Won (played by So JiSub, also another heart throb <3) is a very picky and demanding CEO of KINGDOM empire and both of them meet in the most unlikely circumstance. Whenever she touches him, the ghosts who are pestering her all disappear and it's the first time she has experienced this in the past 3 years so she clings to him as he gives her the sense of security that she has been searching for. The story then develops to show how their lives intertwine as she helps him out in his business using her special skill. 

To me, this show taught me something contradicting but yet it somehow makes sense, to be strong but to also learn to depend on others when need be. In the show, Gong Shil is always clingy to Joong Won and he always drives her away, despite her persistence. She tries to be independent but fails repeatedly and he slowly gives in to her, realizing she needs someone who understands her situation to protect her and make her feel safe.

Albeit a more (for lack of a better word) supernatural theme, the show comes across as heartwarming and also touches on a lot of topics such as domestic violence and the eternal yearn for beauty amongst women as the story develops and each "case" comes along.

Angel Eyes was a drama that was filled with twists and turns that you won't expect, along with heart wrenching storylines that you'll be pulled into. I didn't expect to be addicted as I started watching because of my lil sis who was adamant on me watching cos SeungRi from Big Bang was in the show. However, the storyline unravels itself with the 2 leads Park Dong Joo and Yoon Soo Wan (played by Lee Sang Yoon and Goo Hye Sun respectively and Kang Ha Neul and Nam Ji Hyun play their younger selves) as both of them lose a parent each in a tragic accident. She becomes visually impaired due to the accident and Dong Joo ends up meeting her in a planetorium years later where she works. He falls for her but is ignored as she can't see him. He starts to get close to her and shows his interest in her and eventually fall in love with each other. 

They are sadly separated when she finally is able to get a cornea transplant as the corneas were donated to her by none other than Dong Joo's mother who has come to love her as a daughter, when she gets into an accident and passes away after the accident due to an unexpected person who injects her with poison after the surgery was successful. Dong Joo leaves a note and his contact details for her before going on to Boston to study and becomes a doctor there. She waits for him and they finally reunite after 12 years in Korea where she lives out his dream of becoming a firefighter but is unable to recognise him as she has never seen him despite their dating due to her loss of vision. She also has a boyfriend which further complicates the situation that both Dong Joo and Soo Wan are in, where secrets of the past are slowly revealed as the story develops.

Even though enveloped by problems and obstacles, sweet moments of the couple keep everyone rooting for this relationship, hoping they will work it all out and still find their way back to each other, understanding each other. :)

I guess I'm hooked on these dramas as all have a common theme running through them(besides the fact that they are all SBS dramas) and that is, that love can overcome all odds, whatever they may be. As peculiar and dramatic as the situations in these shows may be, they do portray an innocent, strong and pure love that I probably want to experience in this insignificant life of mine, amongst the billions of people that this Earth houses. And that small part of me wishes that my other half will cherish me as much as the couples in these shows have done so for each other.

** The above are just my thoughts of some of the dramas that I've been watching and does not condemn any other drama out there. :)

KPOP

Whirlwind of a weekend I had spending almost the whole day at the Singapore Indoor Stadium with my dearest princess because it was our first KPOP Concert with YG FAMILY!

Honestly, I was never a big KPOP fan but from her introduction, I became one as of last year. I never approved of my little sis's ways of chasing after K-trends and all just cos I didn't understand them and didn't bother to since I was busy with school and all. Now that I've officially become one (albeit not a hardcore fan), I've started to understand the craze and why the fandom just continues to grow.

I started with RunningMan and just got addicted to say the least. The amount of effort that they put in just to entertain their viewers just astound me and never fail to keep me captivated. As I watched along, I realised it was the same throughout the industry, how they work so hard to entertain and achieve their dream of performing, loving what they do.

I started to then take notice of this certain 9 member girl group known as Girls Generation. Having debut at young ages, they had sacrificed most of their teenage years training to become the world-renowned superstars they are now. The fact that they can still remain humble, dorky, fun and loving to each other makes me feel like I haven't been living my life to the fullest. They have put their best foot forward in trying to achieve their dream whereas I've only been complacent and not giving it my all. They've also taught me how to be thankful for everything which I have been incorporating into my lifestyle, to be grateful for everything, even if something didn't turn out the way I wanted (it teaches me a lesson too right?:))

Now, this concert may have been a bet with my lil sis here to encourage her to do well for her exams but I had never expected her to really meet my expectations. I've always been a more SM Entertainment music kind of fan as YG's music have been quite unique and not really my taste. I had also always expected my first KPOP concert to be a SMTown or SNSD one (I missed the one last year due to internship and I'm totally sad about it.)

Nevertheless, I gave YG Family's concert a chance and wow was I impressed. I've been to a few Chinese concerts and they've had their ups and downs throughout the on average of 2 hours. However, YG's 3.5 hour power-packed performances was totally unexpected, it was high throughout and just entertaining! Plus point being the entire venue was just so very pretty and captivating with all the different coloured lightsticks lighting up the dark stadium like a star studded night which was what the concert was literally.

I liked something that Psy had said during the concert: We are all from different backgrounds and cultures, but tonight we are all one and don't deny that there was at least a moment within the night, all our troubles were forgotten and we just immersed ourselves in the music. (Not his exact words but what I had derived from what he said)

That's what brought me to love music in the first place. It was the only thing in this world that isolated me from my stress and my problems and the thoughts that bugged me day and night. KPOP just happened to be part of that journey since the songs are catchy and lyrics meaningful (even though I need translations to understand), made by talented people on the other side of the world.

So to those who haven't given KPOP a listen to, do give it a chance and you'll be surprised at what you may find, with a range of soulful voices to catchy tunes and raps!

P.S. I'm loving TaeTiSeo's new album Holler and the accompanying Music Video <3 although quite different from Twinkle, it's a great change and a total eye and ear candy! 

Tomorrow

A lil punk rock with black and pink accent nails in preparation for tomorrow! #nails #nailart #accent #black #pink #bubblebath #opi #thefaceshop

Reminder to myself

Been way too long since I last blogged, and I mean really blogged (not reposting pictures on Tumblr, those don't count even though a picture paints a thousand words)

Close friends around me have left 1 by 1, mostly to venture on their path of pursuing a higher degree of education while I stay rooted to this very ground, the place where I was born. However, as patriotic as I am and as loyal as I am to this country, something feels like it's missing. That feeling of being carefree, I guess.

I don't really know when it started (and by it I mean my wanderlust), maybe it was since I was about 5? My mum asked me what I would like to do when I grow up. I very confidently told her :" I wanna study in Canada someday so that I can see snow!" I've always been awed by the beauty that this cruel Earth provides. Given the chance to, this insignificant self would definitely want to explore this whole wide world on my own 2 feet and not just see it through pictures online but see it from my perspective with my eyes. I do have in my plans, to have a (few month long to a year perhaps?) Sabbatical and set foot on an amazing journey to appreciate my life on Earth.

But of course, that would probably never happen in the near future, with so many limitations at hand, the biggest of which is the limited wealth I currently own. I'm still awaiting good news which I hope will come soon, so that I start to work hard and be able to take another step toward my dream, just as how my friends are doing. 

*crossing my fingers and hoping all goes well not only for me but for all whom I love and care for*