"So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
Till our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone" - Ed Sheeran, Photograph
Saturday, May 16, 2015
Photograph
"So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
Till our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone" - Ed Sheeran, Photograph
Friday, April 17, 2015
Spring is here!
Spring nails for tmr!!! Can't wait, D-1 till what I'm so excited for and D-11 to something that I've somewhat been dreading for awhile. #diy #nails #nailart #spring #flowers πΈπ
πΌ
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Departure
The past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. It's been filled with sadness to say the least, as well as comfort.
Attended a funeral of my relative just last Friday and Saturday. Here where I live, (there is a law I think that says) all who pass away have to be cremated, if I'm not wrong. So along with my parents, I went to attend the funeral and honestly a part of myself wondered why I had shed tears. As long as I can remember, I haven't met this relative of mine enough to even use my 10 fingers to count. But the wave of sadness just overwhelmed me as I took the last look at him during the funeral and as the coffin was being pushed into the incinerator. I cried out the tears that I've held back since Friday night where I met up with my cousins and my uncle, aunt and grandaunt, as I watched how my relatives mourned his death,be it distant or close. The fact that he's just gone like that made me realise how fragile life can be.
I've been fortunate enough in the last 20 odd years of my life that I've never needed to experience such loss and pain from my immediate family. So you could say this is the first time I've had to attend a funeral of a loved one. The feelings I've felt throughout were just foreign and I couldn't even bring myself to say words of condolences to his family, because to me, no matter what others say, nothing can help reduce the pain felt by those left behind. Nothing said would ever make them feel better for that matter. They can only just stay strong for those who care and hope to move on as soon as possible. But in actual fact, the pain would still be there and in future, even an ordinary object such as a cup/bed can trigger the mere memory of the person and all the emotions would be riled up again.
After the funeral, I attended a friend's 21st birthday party (I know, the emotions were stretched to the maximum ends that day) and I watched as my friend celebrated life and thanked her family for making the party happen and for doting on her all these years.
Sometimes I wonder to myself too, would it be better to not feel anything then, if pain is such a suffering that I wouldn't wish on anyone? It dawned on me, the happy memories, those that everyone should experience on a day to day basis, those would ultimately outweigh the bad, right? Then it would be more worth it to feel than to not, during this short few decades of our insignificant lives, wouldn't you agree?
A small part of me misses him, wishing he was still here so my dear cousins don't have to experience the pain that they're probably still feeling but hiding from everyone behind their own facade of smiles and "I'm fine, thank you."s But there's another part of me that wishes that we could celebrate his life, the fact that he has spent 90 over glorious years on this Earth and that he had left peacefully, without and struggles physically. He will be missed dearly and I'm praying for him that he will be safe and at peace wherever he may be right now (If a parallel universe exists and he's there enjoying himself).
Back at work, the mood swings of the supervisor continue to blossom and thrive as I continue to be on the receiving end of her emotional roller coaster. However, the transfer that I've requested seems to finally be taking place soon as the supervisor has finally allowed me to submit my request and HR has scheduled my interview for next Tuesday. Feeling nervous though, not knowing what is going to happen. Hopefully only good things are to come, as I join this "new" department, with a vastly different workload but of equal if not more importance, which means I cannot afford to slack off right now. The colleagues have been more than encouraging and welcoming so I'm actually looking forward to a better change after the transfer as much as I would miss the rest of the dept, especially people like W, K and ZQ.
Tita has also left for her homeland for the next one week, which I'm rather upset about but I can't be selfish to hold her back just cos it's gonna be inconvenient for me and the family without her around. I know she misses her family badly so I have to bear with it for the next couple of days till she's back next week.:(
Lots to do now so till next time. Toodles! :D
Attended a funeral of my relative just last Friday and Saturday. Here where I live, (there is a law I think that says) all who pass away have to be cremated, if I'm not wrong. So along with my parents, I went to attend the funeral and honestly a part of myself wondered why I had shed tears. As long as I can remember, I haven't met this relative of mine enough to even use my 10 fingers to count. But the wave of sadness just overwhelmed me as I took the last look at him during the funeral and as the coffin was being pushed into the incinerator. I cried out the tears that I've held back since Friday night where I met up with my cousins and my uncle, aunt and grandaunt, as I watched how my relatives mourned his death,be it distant or close. The fact that he's just gone like that made me realise how fragile life can be.
I've been fortunate enough in the last 20 odd years of my life that I've never needed to experience such loss and pain from my immediate family. So you could say this is the first time I've had to attend a funeral of a loved one. The feelings I've felt throughout were just foreign and I couldn't even bring myself to say words of condolences to his family, because to me, no matter what others say, nothing can help reduce the pain felt by those left behind. Nothing said would ever make them feel better for that matter. They can only just stay strong for those who care and hope to move on as soon as possible. But in actual fact, the pain would still be there and in future, even an ordinary object such as a cup/bed can trigger the mere memory of the person and all the emotions would be riled up again.
After the funeral, I attended a friend's 21st birthday party (I know, the emotions were stretched to the maximum ends that day) and I watched as my friend celebrated life and thanked her family for making the party happen and for doting on her all these years.
Sometimes I wonder to myself too, would it be better to not feel anything then, if pain is such a suffering that I wouldn't wish on anyone? It dawned on me, the happy memories, those that everyone should experience on a day to day basis, those would ultimately outweigh the bad, right? Then it would be more worth it to feel than to not, during this short few decades of our insignificant lives, wouldn't you agree?
A small part of me misses him, wishing he was still here so my dear cousins don't have to experience the pain that they're probably still feeling but hiding from everyone behind their own facade of smiles and "I'm fine, thank you."s But there's another part of me that wishes that we could celebrate his life, the fact that he has spent 90 over glorious years on this Earth and that he had left peacefully, without and struggles physically. He will be missed dearly and I'm praying for him that he will be safe and at peace wherever he may be right now (If a parallel universe exists and he's there enjoying himself).
Back at work, the mood swings of the supervisor continue to blossom and thrive as I continue to be on the receiving end of her emotional roller coaster. However, the transfer that I've requested seems to finally be taking place soon as the supervisor has finally allowed me to submit my request and HR has scheduled my interview for next Tuesday. Feeling nervous though, not knowing what is going to happen. Hopefully only good things are to come, as I join this "new" department, with a vastly different workload but of equal if not more importance, which means I cannot afford to slack off right now. The colleagues have been more than encouraging and welcoming so I'm actually looking forward to a better change after the transfer as much as I would miss the rest of the dept, especially people like W, K and ZQ.
Tita has also left for her homeland for the next one week, which I'm rather upset about but I can't be selfish to hold her back just cos it's gonna be inconvenient for me and the family without her around. I know she misses her family badly so I have to bear with it for the next couple of days till she's back next week.:(
Lots to do now so till next time. Toodles! :D
Monday, March 9, 2015
μμΌμΆνν΄μ νμ°μΈλ
For those people who know me well, you'd know that my fave genre of music would be ballads and the singer would be the people with the most soulful voices, such as the above wonderful lady. She has one of the best voices that I've ever heard and honestly fell in love with since the very first time I heard her. She shows so much passion and love for what she does best: singing, which makes me doubt myself sometimes that maybe I should pursue what I love instead of what I'm doing now, just doing a job for the sake of a job. Today is your birthday so I just want to say thank you for being such an inspiration to your fans and of course a very happy birthday μμΌμΆνν΄μ νμ°μΈλ!πππ and be continue to be the dorky and awesome baby faced leader of μμ! And if by any chance you get to see this @taeyeon_ss I'll be so overjoyedπππ #lettertoTY #309 #happybirthdayTY #notproficientenoughinkoreantotypeeverything #catchGG
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
New Year's Look
Amber and Pink Gradient Leopard Print nails for the new year! π
#nails #nailart #amber #pink #gradient #leopardprint #diy
Sunday, February 1, 2015
ηΎπ
It's that time of year again.ππππππππ
#cny2015 #chinatown #买年货 #1stFeb
Monday, January 19, 2015
Destress
All the stress at work piling up so I had to vent it somewhere. Simple floral patterns with a nude background #nails #nailart #floral #black #essie #rockcandy #nudepink #diy
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Updates
Haven't had a chance to pen down recent happenings and it's all piling up within me.
First off, Happy birthday to the best friend who has finally reached the milestone of 21! Be safe back in Scotland and I'll be praying for you to have everything smooth sailing over there :D
Next, this has been taking up probably 90% of the 10% of brain that is utilised daily. Realised that I've been really indecisive when it comes to making choices in the past few years. I tend to like weighing the pros and cons first, in order to make an informed decision but I end up overthinking just about everything.
Recently this keeps popping up in my mind: What is more important in life? Being happy and carefree in whatever I do? Or being constantly under stress but able to learn a unique skill? Granted that the latter is a service that I provide that helps to protect the patients.
I want to continue studying in a couple of years, that I can be sure of. But my supervisor gives me a feeling that she resents the fact that she has to train someone for so long and have that person leave after a meagre 2 years. I've just undergone my review session last Wednesday and been told to have my probation be extended till the end of March. Somehow, I feel a little bit of disappointment with myself, even though I expected it.
I honestly don't know how to reply her every single time she asks me whether I would like to continue on with this job with her in the operating theatres or not. Inside, I don't feel confident that I'm the one for the job, with all the different stressing components from the different sources. Part of me just wants to take the easy way out and just request for a transfer of department and join the people who have taken so much time and effort to train me for the past 3 months, plus the fact that they are short-handed as of now. But another part of me doesn't want to be viewed as someone who gives up so easily. Colleagues at my training site are so friendly and encouraging as well, giving me advice not only in my job, but also in my life.
The inner conflict in me is building up and I really want my life to come to a constant right now, not filled with all these uncertainties. The sup has kinda in a way used the fact of my knee and back condition to state that I may not be able to physically take on this job. I don't really know if that is her putting in a nice way that she doesn't want me for the job or she's genuinely concerned for me because she seems to me like the practical kind. Transferring a department is also fairly simple, according to my colleague and I admit that more of me is leaning towards that side, but whether or not the department welcomes me is another thing. Should I just be thick-skinned and join then stick it out till the end if unwanted? Won't that be going back to square one of being unhappy at work?
I honestly don't know what to do right now, and would totally appreciate it if someone were to dictate my life at this point. I'd gladly just follow blindly rather than make my own decisions and find that I have no one to blame but myself if anything goes wrong? That's the responsible thing to do, right?
The internal dilemma is breaking me down mentally and I have no idea how to stop this. Help...
First off, Happy birthday to the best friend who has finally reached the milestone of 21! Be safe back in Scotland and I'll be praying for you to have everything smooth sailing over there :D
Next, this has been taking up probably 90% of the 10% of brain that is utilised daily. Realised that I've been really indecisive when it comes to making choices in the past few years. I tend to like weighing the pros and cons first, in order to make an informed decision but I end up overthinking just about everything.
Recently this keeps popping up in my mind: What is more important in life? Being happy and carefree in whatever I do? Or being constantly under stress but able to learn a unique skill? Granted that the latter is a service that I provide that helps to protect the patients.
I want to continue studying in a couple of years, that I can be sure of. But my supervisor gives me a feeling that she resents the fact that she has to train someone for so long and have that person leave after a meagre 2 years. I've just undergone my review session last Wednesday and been told to have my probation be extended till the end of March. Somehow, I feel a little bit of disappointment with myself, even though I expected it.
I honestly don't know how to reply her every single time she asks me whether I would like to continue on with this job with her in the operating theatres or not. Inside, I don't feel confident that I'm the one for the job, with all the different stressing components from the different sources. Part of me just wants to take the easy way out and just request for a transfer of department and join the people who have taken so much time and effort to train me for the past 3 months, plus the fact that they are short-handed as of now. But another part of me doesn't want to be viewed as someone who gives up so easily. Colleagues at my training site are so friendly and encouraging as well, giving me advice not only in my job, but also in my life.
The inner conflict in me is building up and I really want my life to come to a constant right now, not filled with all these uncertainties. The sup has kinda in a way used the fact of my knee and back condition to state that I may not be able to physically take on this job. I don't really know if that is her putting in a nice way that she doesn't want me for the job or she's genuinely concerned for me because she seems to me like the practical kind. Transferring a department is also fairly simple, according to my colleague and I admit that more of me is leaning towards that side, but whether or not the department welcomes me is another thing. Should I just be thick-skinned and join then stick it out till the end if unwanted? Won't that be going back to square one of being unhappy at work?
I honestly don't know what to do right now, and would totally appreciate it if someone were to dictate my life at this point. I'd gladly just follow blindly rather than make my own decisions and find that I have no one to blame but myself if anything goes wrong? That's the responsible thing to do, right?
The internal dilemma is breaking me down mentally and I have no idea how to stop this. Help...
Monday, January 5, 2015
Thursday, January 1, 2015
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