Adios 2014, Hello 2015!

Adios 2014! The past year has been filled with so many achievements and tribulations with internship starting end of last year and ending beginning of the year while juggling FYP. Despite all the hard times, I'm also thankful for the great moments, where I've graduated from NP with a Diploma in Biomedical Science with the awesome bunch of mates from the LSCT Class of 2014 and I'm so happy for those who also had the chance to further their studies be it locally or overseas! ;) I've also had the blessing of becoming a tutor to one of the cutest kids who taught me so much. Having had the break after graduation, I'm also thankful for the chance to be able to spend time with family, be it distant or immediate. Also, I got to attend my first KPOP concert with my little 막내😘 To end off the year, even though I wasn't able to further my studies this year, I was even lucky enough to get a job with SGH and have gotten to know a great, understanding bunch of seniors who are ever patient in teaching me the ropes. Even though it's been stressful, it's an unexpected chance given to me and I want to embrace it and work hard at it. Looking ahead to 2015, it's gonna be filled with even more milestones and more challenges but pressing on will be the only way to go. Here's wishing everyone all the best for the upcoming year, being able to achieve everything you set your mind to. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!🎉🎉🎉 welcome 2015!!!!

Undecided

Another day at work today and I had a conversation with a colleague of mine. Turns out she's leaving next year just when my probation ends. That was shocking to some extent but what was more appalling I guess, was the fact that she's the 3rd one that I've found out who's leaving. She told me about how office politics were very scary and that someone who may seem nice on the outside, may not be so in real life. It then dawned on me that what she said was true, as much as I would like to believe that everyone is kind from birth and that no one wants to be mean. It also got me to thinking about what I want and need in this stage of my life. I'm about to turn 21 in about 5 months or so and one of my life's dreams is to go travelling to explore the world and get a degree while I'm at it if possible. But I can't do that without money.

Ultimately, it all still boils down to money, doesn't it? As much as we all want to say that we are not slaves for money, who in this world isn't? Except for those born with a silver spoon, the rest of the worldly population is still struggling to make ends meet, to meet the increase in quality of life. That would mean that I would have to work to achieve this dream of  mine.

This job may not be my dream job and I do like it and find it interesting, but I don't feel passionate about it. In addition, that sense of belonging is still not there, as much as the benefits are good and all. I keep telling myself that this is just a temporary phase, that I'll soon not feel this way, but it's been more than a month, approaching the 2nd month milestone. And that feeling is still there. What if I'm just cheating myself? And that this isn't the right path for me? I don't know what the future holds but I want to feel happy and carefree in whatever I do. Right now all I feel every single day is lethargy and restlessness, even though it is interesting and I'm constantly learning new stuff every day.

I don't want to come across as someone who gives up easily though. Also, what would I do if I were to really resign after probation? There is no study intake coming up and I would have to look for another job which may not pay me as much as right now.

I really need a deep talk with someone experienced to enlighten me and to help me out of this slump.  :/ and I'm hating how every time I push these thoughts to the very back of my mind but they always manage to creep back and torment me.